Students dating lecturers: Why, how, and what are the consequences? - Study International
There's a move afoot at Duke to forbid professors from dating or having or sexual relationships between professors and the university's undergraduates. thus bar graduate teaching assistants from dating undergraduates. OK, Just thought I would get some input from some folks around here. I'm 27 and teach college. I take my job very seriously, and never think to. The integrity of the teacher-student relationship is the foundation of the University's educational mission. This relationship vests considerable trust in the teacher.
I was 17, and he At first it was innocent enough. I bummed a smoke off him at morning lecture break. We chatted about the Epic of Gilgamesh, or something similarly innocuous and liberal-artsy.
He wore Ray-Bans before they made a comeback, plaid before it became a hipster trend, and he had a nervous, charming, rambling beatnik-meets-Tom Waits aura about him like he was on the verge of either mental collapse or genius. We drank, we smoked pot, we drank some more. All of a sudden it was just him and me left on his scratchy tartan couch. Surrounded by empty bottles of red wine and smoky stacks of collected rare books, you can imagine what happened next. The rest of my undergrad experience was peppered with our sexual encounters and spirited — at times dangerous — adventures.
I became friends with his young sons. I met his mother. I hosted soirees for faculty and students alike at his downtown apartment. One night, we got a little too carried away and he was arrested for drunk driving, with yours truly in the passenger seat. It even made the front page of the local news. My laid-back, west coast father came to the east coast and met him.
Students dating lecturers: Why, how, and what are the consequences?
Then my hardworking, big city mother came to the east coast and met him. My friends were polarized — they thought the relationship was either charming or revolting.
As for me, I felt emboldened. I had made the choice to make a grown man in a position of power shake with desire. One night postcoital, professor and I were eating roasted nuts and drinking red wine naked in his bed.
This was done in order to ensure a financially and socially compatible marriage. This form of courtship consisted of highly rigid rituals, including parlor visits and limited excursions. These meetings were all strictly surveyed, typically by the woman's family, in order to protect the reputations of all involved and limit such possibilities as pregnancy. This manner of courtship system was mostly used by the upper and middle classes from the eighteenth century through the Victorian period.
The lower classes typically did not follow this system, focusing more on public meetings. However, the goal of the process was still focused on ending in a marriage. The date, which had previously been the public courting method for the lower class, was adopted by young adults across the upper and middle classes.
Meetings between lovers began to be more distant from rigid parental supervision. A young man might take a girl to a drive-in movie rather than spend an evening in the parlor with her family. While no two accounts of dating history completely agree on the timeline for this change, most do agree that new technologies were linked to its cause. Specifically, the advent of the telephone and the automobile and their subsequent integration into the mainstream culture are often identified as key factors in the rise of modern dating.
Not only did these technologies allow for rapid communication between a couple, but they also removed familial supervision from the dating process.
College and university dating - Wikipedia
The automobile especially afforded a young couple the opportunity to have time together away from parental constraints. In this format, dating became about competing for the potential mate with the highest social payoff. On a campus in the late s, a man's possession of a car or membership in a key fraternity might win him the attention of his female classmates.
Women's status was more closely tied to how others perceived them. If they were seen with the right men and viewed as someone who was desired and dateable, they would achieve the desired social status.
For instance, at Howard Universitythe majority of students see hooking up as meeting friends or simply exchanging phone numbers without any sexual connotation to it. It occurred least frequently in Poland, Ethiopia, and Congo; and it occurred most frequently in Lithuania, Croatia, and Italy.
The brother gives his girlfriend his letters or fraternity's insignia in order to label her as becoming a sexual possession to him.
My blindfold was eventually removed, and I could see the room was filled with brothers all wearing their robes used for fraternity rituals. The only light was from lit candles around the room. At first I was a bit nervous, but then I saw my boyfriend and knew that everything was going to be alright.
According to one account, the brother is tied to a bed post in the house, and "someone pours beer down his throat until he vomits.
After he vomits, the girlfriend is supposed to kiss him. The most prominent among these technological advances is the rise in popularity of social networking and matchmaking sites such as DateMySchoola website dedicated to college dating established in These new technologies modify certain aspects of the current system of relationship formation, rather than fundamentally changing it.
Participants in these services who are looking for a face-to-face relationship still tend to impose geographical and group-based limitations on the pool of potential mates. This indicates that, despite the increased number of possibilities, users still value the possibility of an offline relationship.
Participants use the services in order to meet others who are outside their social circles, but still attempt to impose some limitations to maintain the possibility of a physical relationship. When students use the internet to find and create relationships, the most common bonds formed are on the level of friends and acquaintances. About ten percent of those interviewed reported one or more romantic relationships that had originated online.
They found that there is no significant difference in between those ranking high and low in risk for social or dating anxiety in the types of relationships that are formed through the internet. The difference lies in the fact that those with high anxiety indexes used webcams to communicate with people they had met and maintain their relationships.