Misadventures with INTJs - Pros and cons of an INFJ dating an INTJ?
When INFJ becomes emotional, INTJ will bring them back down to earth by is happy and everything is okay, even if no problems are evident. For instance, an INFJ can date any personality type–even an ESTP, our complete We are equally passionate and concerned about similar issues, but we go about our passions in different ways. INTJ (“The Scientist”). If you have been in an INFJ/INTJ relationship, you can probably think of predicting problems before they arise and building elegant solutions.
As people pleasers, relationships are a way for us to showcase how much we love the other person and have a uniquely intense emotional relationship. What better way to get instant INFJ satisfaction than in a monogamous relationship right?
Throughout our lives we have had to learn that having a deep and meaningful conversation with every person you meet is not a viable lifestyle and most people are not used to this. We are weirdoes to most people! We must contain the crazy. The problem with our relationships is that they can involve a lot of one-sidedness.
What is a normal conversation to me e. This normally results in us emotionally attracting people that may not have the best intentions for us, purely because they feel like they have never felt this emotion before. In the past my relationships have involved me giving emotional support and receiving the minimum amount back. It was an extremely unhealthy relationship for my personality type but it made me realise that I had limited emotional resources and that I could not connect with just anyone.
Everyone wants to be loved and for INFJs it can be interesting to have someone to give all your affections, but that also means running the risk of someone leaching from you. My boyfriend is an INTJ. So my boyfriend supposedly has similar traits to the Tesla guy and the Interstellar dude. My boyfriend is very decisive.
Our relationship is full of decisions. From the onset, I was determined to let my boyfriend understand that he must not confuse his initial level of comfort around me with us sharing a much deeper connection at the start.
Maybe I was just being over cautious but I will explain below why I did not need to go through any of that with him. I believe that people often overlook any pairing of the INFJ with an introvert for fear that too much introversion in the relationship might lead to emotional incompatibility, or possibly a lack of balance in the relationship. From my own experience, I find most extroverts to be too much to take. I like to think of myself as being a shy peacock.
Now imagine a garden full of peacocks. Now imagine another peacock who has his feathers readily on show for all to see and thrives from being surrounded by all these humans in awe. This is how I see most extroverts and I honestly would not be able to cope. Partly because I find the most extroverts actually discourage me from coming out of my shell because of how present they are; I feel as though I do not have space to be myself because they are just so.
INFJ female dating INTJ male
What got my attention when I met my boyfriend was: I had not met someone who made me feel like I was looking into a mirror, but with a deeper voice, more confidence and self assurance. I had not even considered his personality type or how compatible we may be because it all went very smoothly.
- The Surprising Thing About Dating an INTJ, as an INFJ
- ENFJ & INFJ Relationship Challenges
From my own empirical evidence, we are very compatible, share similar values and we generally have the same approach to life. The INTJ boyfriend will be reading a book on one side of the room and I will be truly demolishing noobs on league of legends.
I do not like big groups. He is a lot more social that I am and has different groups of friends the mind boggles. He gets this and has always gone out of his way to make sure I am not in a situation like that, or if I have to be, that I am not there longer than necessary.
When meeting his best friend, I am aware that he agave him a talking to to not freak me out. Turns out his bestie was an INFJ and we got on rather well!
The Surprising Thing About Dating an INTJ, as an INFJ – The Durk Web
We take turns talking and are both really good listeners. On this front, we get on like a house on fire. I do have to nudge him every now about communication because he sometimes seems to rely on me bringing things up before he lets it rip.
Intuition-Intuition We enjoy discussing big ideas and solving the worlds troubles over dinner. We have similar views on the big things and occasionally disagree. I appreciate the viewpoint he brings to the conversation as he is very rational and everything seems to be black and white to him sometimes, which boggles my righteous, overly humanitarian mind.
We enjoy talking about the future. Him more so than me as I appear to be the risk averse one. I have attributed this to the ordinary fears of an INFJ when in any intense relationship.
We do seem to lack interest in everyday living. I cannot say that I spend that much time obsessing over the ironing or the washing. Mind you, until earlier this year, my dear boyfriend had existed on this earth without owning an iron. Their Fe assertions can be direct, intense, and emotionally-charged. Such judgments, especially when unsolicited, are not always well received by others. With that said, it often feels unnatural, for NFJs to carefully censor or restrain their judgments, since this forces them into the uncomfortable position of handling their emotions and judgments inwardly, thereby functioning more like NFPs than NFJs.
One of the stickier contexts for NFJs to deliver their judgments is romantic relationships. It is also assumed that both partners are equally capable of delivering and receiving reproach. From the NFJ perspective, however, all persons are not endowed with an equal talent for effectively understanding and navigating relationships. And regardless of whether NFJs actually know more about their partners than their partners know about themselves, their mates will often come to resist or resent such assumptions.
If NFJs seem to exhibit an air of superiority in this regard, their partners, rightly or not, may consider it a sign of arrogance or egotism.
Complicating matters further, NFJs can be prone to assuming that, because of their ability to read and interpret human behavior, they are to some degree beyond reproach. While good at delivering critiques and judgments, they may appear closed or hypersensitive as recipients.