INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility
You might be an INTJ (or dating one) and not even know it. INTJs are said to be most compatible with ENTP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, to be that way, but it can cause problems in romantic relationships nonetheless. This section INTJ-ENTP relationship is about how these two personality types at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have. As an INTJ you might be surprised to find a great match in an ENTP partner. they often come up with innovative and creative solutions to complex problems.
While INFJs are strong in extraverting their judgments, INTJs can be even more so because they lack the peacemaking, people-pleasing, and socially sensitive elements of Fe. INTJs may also be labeled as excessively stubborn or rigid, although this too relates to Te-related misunderstandings. In order to compensate for such misunderstandings, INTJs might reason that if they could only understand people better they could overcome their relational difficulties.
This may inspire them to gather as many facts and self-help strategies as they can regarding human psychology and relationships. While there is certainly nothing wrong with doing so, it may not always remedy their predicament in the way they might expect.
For one, INTJs with a history of relational difficulties can be prone to attribute those failures to psychological problems in their partners, thereby failing to see their own shortcomings.
While not necessarily their fault, this should comprise at least as much of their relational attention as trying to see and diagnose problems in their partners. To be fair, accurate self-evaluation can be a problem for all J-types, since their preferred mode of Judging Fe or Te is directed outwardly rather than inwardly.
This is one reason why typology can be so useful for INTJs, as well as other types. One of the hallmarks of Fi is a desire to preserve and defend the uniqueness of the individual. Related to a strong concern for the individual is the Fi desire to aid the weak, helpless, and marginalized of society.
This is why IFPs, for instance, can often be found helping the homeless, working with children with special needs, protecting endangered species, etc.
Once we add Fi into the mix, it is not hard to see how INTJs might be attracted, even if unconsciously, to rescuing and fixing those who seem needy or helpless.
The relationship then becomes a sort of psychotherapeutic forum, with the INTJ working to analyze, diagnose, and treat his wounded partner. It zeroes in on the unique features of the individual and grows deeply attached to those qualities. While INTJs may not experience the consistent strength of feeling that FP types do, they are nonetheless influenced by the less conscious workings of Fi, which helps inspire loyalty, love, and commitment.
This makes it a highly alluring function, powerful enough to inspire a fierce and protracted tug-of-war with the dominant function. Money also relates to status, another Se-related desire. They may, for instance, feel forced to perform unfulfilling work that fails to utilize their Ni-Te gifts.
Or, they may struggle when the quality of a product or accuracy of information is compromised for the sake of marketability. INTJs also hate having to act before their intuition has prompted them to do so. All of this can make the work life of INTJs rather miserable as they struggle to find a compromise between their Ni and Se concerns. Even the idea of compromise can be loathsome to INTJs, since their idealism and perfectionism are so pronounced.
- INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility
And book a table on Valentine's Day. Game plans only work when you're playing chess INTJs notoriously approach dating the way they approach most situations - with a game plan. Rather than falling head over heels for the nearest warm body, we construct a well-defined image of our ideal partner, break the dating process down into a series of actionable milestones, then proceed to execute the plan with laser-sharp focus.
Strategy in place, we're ready to woo. Shockingly, other people may not fall in line with this system. Partners and dates want to know they are attractive, respected and loved for who they are without all the wrangling, controlling and mind games. Painful as it is, you've got to play with the other person, not manipulate them like pawns on a chessboard. A date is not an interview INTJs famously require a mate of the mind - someone clever, preferably genius, and independent enough to stand up to the INTJ's formidable intellect.
Most INTJs will figure out very quickly whether someone makes the grade. If not, the INTJ will waste no time on further courtship. We are through with the interloper. We will not look back.
To make a fair assessment, an INTJ typically will bombard their date with the "big" questions. And by big, I mean the sort of complex, probing, no-stone-left-unturned questions you get asked at an interview. We think we are nailing down our date's personality and suitability this way. In fact, we're killing the buzz 90 percent of the time.
Ask your date what kind of music they like movies, books, food. Everyone has an opinion on these subjects.
Your date won't feel stressed talking about their favorite meal. If your date is a poor conversationalist or displays terribly bad taste, cut your losses.30 Things INTJ Females Want in a Relationship
But if the conversation naturally veers off at a tangent and throws up all sorts of delicious morsels, then you've probably struck gold.
And you didn't even ask your date about their life goals.
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Sometimes, you've just got to go for it INTJ's score high on the Judging scale, which means they like to have things decided. However, this only occurs when we've made up our minds. Until then, we are flexible and open to new information. This is a problem, because we have a tendency to spend a ridiculous amount of time studying the ins and outs of relationships - knotty issues like our feelings, whether the flames of passion are burning, and the significance of it all.
Intimacy can burn rather slowly until we've sorted everything out. By then, the object of our affection will have lost interest. So hurry it up already. In a cautious world, seizing the moment is undeniably romantic and sexy.
No one likes haughty If you want to destroy romance, be sure to think of yourself as smarter, more intuitive, more conscientious, more rational and more important than your date.
Cross examine them and challenge their assumptions. Always strive to be right, even if it crushes your significant other. Don't worry about the personal cost of your attitude, and never give anyone a break. Sometimes you have to be selectively blind INTJs are known for plain-speaking. We say what's on our minds. We are blunt and unrelenting critics. We tell our partners where they've gone wrong and we fix false assumptions.
Who cares about the touchy-feely stuff? We like the truth.